time

as we all get older, time just seems to move faster.

the years are starting to fly, and i can't even imagine how fast it will feel when i'm 80. every year an even smaller fraction of my life.

but life feels really good right now...
i can't explain it.
it just feels good.

Harajukyuuuu

WHATTUPPPP...

my friend Meiko's music video was finally posted on http://www.perezhilton.com! which means, i can finally put up MY video blaaahg about the video! so...here it is...hope you enjoy the shit out of it.

magic

the last few weeks have been intense. they were some of the most gratifying days of my life, and some of the most stressful.

but i did it!

in a few short weeks i somehow managed to take an idea and turn it into a real production. and not only that, but i found the most amazing team of people i could ask for to do this on a shoestring budget. i mean, it wasn't cheap...and i'm no moneybags right now, but i believed in the project, so i was willing to go for it.

all in all, i have learned soooo much about producing. one thing i realized is that there is always potential for something to get fucked up. for example, i lost location after location after location until finally finding a PERFECT spot downtown, literally 2 days before the shoot. S-T-R-E-S-S-F-U-L.

but i pulled it off. i wanted to jump right into editing, but i had to go up to my cousins wedding in San Fran, which turned out to be the perfect mini-vacation before jumping headfirst into this whole post production process. whew!

so...it will be put up as soon as it's done, my pretties...as soon as it's done...muah hahaha...

i will also be editing a few other vlaaaahgs to put up between now and then...wohoo!

p

hey, relax

just the other day, my girlfriend told me that they say it's healthier when people are total sluts in their sex dreams. and i realized that i am a total fucking PRUDE in my dreams. beyond prude. i'm like permanently programmed in PG-13. i mean, i don't even feel comfortable calling them sex dreams; they are THAT far from being anything that's even remotely exciting. they're totally prepubescent dreams. it's like i'm still an 11 year old dreaming about Uncle Jesse in Full House. heh...that was such a good dream.

plus, this makes me realize there must be something deeper holding me back. some constructs created from my childhood or something. and maybe it's holding me back in life too...in my enjoyment of life and in achieving my goals. and THAT, people, is no good. no good at all.

me having dreams tamer than what they can show on network television is pathetic and i'm going to do something about it! so i'm going to try lucid dreaming again. i had this book in high school that taught me about it, and after some practice, had really focused my mind to recognize when i was dreaming. a few times i was able to stay asleep (i would often wake up) after the realization.

i am putting my intention out there to relax and have more fun in my dreams. why deny? no. i'm TAKING what i want...i mean, it's a freaking dream!!! nothing can go wrong -- it's all in your head! everyone should try this!!

I think this will be a good exercise in life too. you know...the going after what you want part. not...being a slut. necessarily.