Holiday Reflection

This holiday season has been a strange one for me. For one, I'm not spending it with my whole family, although I am fortunate to spend it with my big brother at the very least. My mom is in Taiwan, and my dad is working in Shanghai. This fall, my mom came to visit the states for several weeks, so she didn't feel like going through the rigmorale of traveling stateside again, and also she stayed behind because my grandmother isn't doing so great. My dad feels it necessary to stay in shanghai for work. the ailing economy has put the pressure on, not to mention christmas isn't exactly huge in asia.

I should also mention that the last three holiday seasons I was in a relationship that broke up this summer. So it's also strange not to have that anchoring the Christmas season, especially because the last two years we went to asia together over the holidays. But this is all just sentimental bullshit anyway, because i wouldn't want it any other way right now. The relationship ended for a reason, and we're both better people for it.

All in all, this holiday has been a period of reflection. I learned so much about myself this last year. I gained invaluable experience and confidence in myself and I feel really good about going into this next year. I have no doubts that my career is gaining momentum. I am so grateful for the work I've gotten in what has been an incredibly challenging year for actors. I shot two commercials, a promo for CBS, and a co-star on a successful show on ABC! Thank you thank you thank you thank you to everything and everyone who was responsible for making these things happen.

In 2009 i intend to do many workshops and get as many casting directors familiar with me and my work as possible. I am a working actress in Los Angeles. My dream is a reality, and I am so grateful for all the joy this brings into my life. I look forward to doing more, telling great stories, and meeting interesting, passionate people who are also living their dreams.

better late than never

the first thing i have to mention is how lame i feel to title a post "better late than never." haha. but it popped in my head, and then i thought of Alvin Othto Stewart, a 73 year old man i befriended by bartending in hollywood at the hotel cafe.

alvin titled his self-made album Better Late Than Never. being 73, "late" is sort of an understatement. thing is, this man should be an inspiration to us all, being his age and still creating music, poetry, getting out and socializing with people of all ages. when the piano in the back room is unlocked, alvin will entertain people and sell his cd's and poetry books. you all should visit his myspace page, play his music and leave comments. the sound quality on his album isn't the best, but the music is actually pretty good! but mainly, i gotta give him so much credit--he comes in and helps me clear glasses EVERY SHIFT that i work unless he's sick. this has been going on for over a year. what can i say, the man's got my back. somehow he and i became linked in this universe and i will do all i can to help him share what he's doing with the world, if for no other reason than the joy i see in him when he talks about his myspace hits and even better, his cdbaby reviews that friends leave. if you're feeling especially warm and generous, buy his album on myspace or cdbaby.

Superfuture superfun

once upon a time i was going to visit TOKYO and a friend shows me a site called Superfuture. anyone looking to consume fashion of all kinds will essentially find locations of all peddlers of COOL mapped out on this site with descriptions and sometimes store or brand websites. pretty rad.

so, fast forward to this summer, after i had forgotten all about this site, and i was instant messaging with a friend of mine. he sends me these photos of some chick, and says, "what's up with gladiator sandals?" well, the answer was, "they're ugly as shit," but man, was i intriqued! what was this??? some girl putting pictures of herself on a website to be scrutinized by a million internet lurkers??? how do i get on this train??

what my friend showed me was a thread in a part of Superfuture called Supertalk--a bunch of threads started by Superfuture readers to talk about fashion, design, shopping, but then a bunch of trash too, like who's hot, who sucks, and look how cool i am. this particular thread my friend showed me is called WAYWT (what are you wearing today?). people post photos of their outfits and they get internet reputation from other readers. it's like an internet popularity contest based on what you contribute to the threads. on one waywt thread people are only supposed to post photos, but since there are so many opinionated mother fuckers out there, someone started one that's the "chat edition" so that people can talk shit and publicly criticize someone's fit, or publicly praise them as well. OF COURSE i started posting on both threads. i mean, how could i not????? glorious fun!!

i did have to earn the respect of all the veteran sufu folks the hard way. my first fit was some hipster trashy shit that i wear when i bartend sometimes and these people tore my shit apart. i had super negativo feedback and i think some people hated me. haha. they're very serious about this thread, ok??? but i realized that even though the thread is called "what are you wearing TODAY," everyone really only wants to see, "what are you wearing on the days you're wearing your best shit especially if you're a newbie." since the days of my first couple shitty posts, i have now garnered some respect with a string of finer outfits, and as i continue to post, my style continues to get better, though i seriously need to make more money to dress the way i REALLY want to dress. it's actually really nice to have something that inspires me to dress better in my daily life. dressing better makes me feel good and it translates in my auditions too. shout out to all ya'll sufu kids. i loves ya, i really do.

here is an example of a post I made, the other day on my birthday (12/10). maybe this is all just super narcissistic bullshit, but hey...i put my IMDb link on the page and it increases my rank on that shit. win win. i may put some of my fits on this blog from time to time cuz it's fun.

Sister made it on "Brothers.."

I recently worked on the ABC show Brothers and Sisters. It was a small part, a costar, with a whole whopping TWO lines. WHEW! When I tell people I booked this gig, they're generally really excited for me, but I have this little voice in my head that tells me it ain't shit. Why do I do that? I mean, when it comes down to it, this is my first primetime credit (it will show on IMDb once the episode airs), and that's GREAT. But all I want is MORE. Co star roles don't have an arc. They really just facilitate the scene forward. For example, I play a barista in this episode of Brothers & Sisters. Sally Field comes in looking for someone and asks the barista where some dude is. I tell her where he is. Bam. Over. That's that.

Awesome.

HOWEVER, this is not to say I am not SOOOOOOO damn grateful for this job. I really give credit to the casting associate who works with the casting directors on this show. Arlie Day with O'Neill/Bacharach. I did a workshop with her several months back and made a good impression. Since then, she's called me in for a few webisodes, and though I didn't book them, she gave me great feedback in the room. For this episode of B & S, they didn't even release a breakdown for the barista role. The casting directors just called people in from their files, and thus, I received my first job on a primetime show. Pretty great.

And because this was proof that workshops work, I'm doing more now. The place I do mine at is called Actor's Coop Group. I haven't tried any others, but they generally get the same cd's and associates in as other workshop places. This one is close to where I live though, and you can't beat that in LA. The drawback is that it costs money and I'm damn broke and have the most debt I've probably ever had in my life. Still, I have to look at it as a business investment. The more credits like this I can get, the more auditions my agents will be able to get me into.

My goal: To book a guest star on something rad, like the new show Caprica (prequel to Battlestar Gallactica--yeaaaahhhh bitches!!!!). Ok, I don't know if it will be rad...watching the trailer, it's not what I was expecting at all, but we'll see!