thoughts for her

it almost seems inappropriate to talk about now that she's gone. but since i wrote previous entries about her, i feel like i kind of need to let the people who read about her know that she's finally left us.

tonight when i got home from work, i saw the message from my mom that my grandma had passed away. as much as i knew in my heart that she is in a much better place, i still cried...and felt...selfish...for feeling sad. if i was to only feel for her, i should be happy...because she can finally be at peace. the sadness is for my own feelings of loss. a loss of history. of culture.

i wish i had known her better. i wish i had seen her when she was young. i wish i had known her then. i wish i could have talked with her more. i wish i had spoken her language. especially now that she's gone, it is even more apparent that i hardly knew her at all.

i want to tell her that she's amazing for raising six children on her own, running a farm after my grandfather passed away so young. i want her to know that she is a part of me. i want to thank her for giving me my mother.

the important thing is that my mom is ok. and probably...relieved. it was incredibly difficult for her to see my grandma suffering.

if any of you are reading, please just send a good thought out to my grandma and my mom too. thanks everybody...

patty

preview

i just finished shooting Meiko's music video for her song Under My Bed. it was a really fun shoot! i am definitely going to video blog about it, but i need to edit and all that, so in the meantime, here are a few photos of from the shoot...

amayleeca is so multee culturlal

this is the kia spot i did for korea run only. it's.....cute! if you're REALLY into it, there's another one titled Kia Soul CM-2. oh those koreans!

updates

OK. i haven't posted anything about career in a while, so here's an update. the commercial world has been slow as hell, but i finally had an audition the other day for hyundai and i have the callback tomorrow. yay!

next on this list...you will hear more about this when i'm getting closer to actually shooting, but i am developing a secret project that should be very fun. it's a spoof video and i am really really excited about it. heeeee...

let's see, what else....i recently worked background on a film called greenberg starring ben stiller and jennifer jason leigh. i hate background work, but my friend anna is assistant to the director, noah baumbach. she asked if i would do it because noah doesn't like hiring career background actors (i don't blame him). since i like to have any reason to not work my bar job, i said yes and it turned out to be super fun. it was this party scene with a bunch of young people, so after four nights on the shoot, it was like summer camp ending and maybe even a little sentimental. i was also spoiled and got to have a room to hang out in during all the downtime. oh man, i would have pulled my hair out if not for that room. it must be noted that the crew on this film was AMAZING. it was definitely a learning experience to watch them work. it was also nice to see a director allow actors to do 15 takes on an important scene...emotionally draining i'm sure, but how great to have that opportunity to really sink it. i'm eager to see the film once it's finished.

lastly, i'll be making a cameo in my friend Meiko's music video. we shoot on wednesday and i'll be playing a harajuku girl. ha! should be really fun. i'm totally gonna vlog about it.

that's it for now!

spoiled rotten

i am so spoiled. i am so grateful for everything i have -- all the amazing people in my life, the opportunities that come my way, and the colorful days. there is no where else i want to be, and nothing else i want to do. if i could, i would kiss the hell out of life. fuck yeah.

this kid is da BOMB!!!!

I LOVE HIM!!! hahaha

yep, shot another one

this is my latest installment of the good ol' video blog. rather than post the taco bell job up, which i was worried i'd get in trouble for, i'm gonna put this one up. yep, that's right. i just shot another one. i think it's better anyway. so...enjoy!