Patty Yu is cute but deadly. Cutebutdeadly is Patty Yu.

MY NEW BLOG FROM NOW ON!!!

2009-07-23T12:33:00.000-07:00

I FINALLY bought my url and set up a new blog. drumroll............

click image to view!

PLEASE BOOKMARK, SAVE, OR DO WHATEVER YOU NEED TO DO (if you are a regular reader, which I THANK YOU btw). I will no longer be posting to Blogger! Hope ya'll like it! Feedback always appreciated! xoxoxoxoxo

JULY 25th is the big day!!!

2009-07-19T18:52:00.001-07:00

HOLY MOLY. i set a release date for my video!!! I will be putting the video out on the evening of July 25th. I'm so freaking excited i can't even put it into words!!

If any of ya'll are just tuning in, I am talking about my first self-produced project that I also star in as well. In this little pet project of mine, I am spoofing a very well known pop princess in Asia. Working on this thing has been the most fun I've had probably since I was a kid...I think I almost peed my pants about a dozen times, I laughed so hard during the shoot.

So, stay tuned and you'll be able to see it soooooooon!

screen capture from the vid:

just say no

2009-07-09T00:10:00.000-07:00

i don't watch tv at home. maybe that's crazy, but i just can't have it anymore. i wind up addicted to the worst kind of shows. i mean, Daisy of Love? thank god i don't have tv because i would watch the shit out of that kind of garbage. ugh the shame i would feel.

so instead, i end up toiling away hours on facebook and twitter. a much healthier preoccupation OBVIOUSLY.

my point.

oh.

actually, it was about michael jackson. so even though i don't have tv, i often wander over to my next door neighbor's place and can't help but absorb some filth over there because her tv is on TWENTY FOUR SEVEN.

so serious i have to use all caps.

and lately, i've gotten sucked into watching coverage on MJ, because...who wouldn't? it's getting so ugly, really...the rumors, all the images they flash of him, the freaking dermatologist on larry king -- how much do you think he got paid for that interview? that's what i wanna know.

today i actually felt physically ill after catching a portion of that interview. all these people scrutinizing, trying to figure it all out, trying to find the ugliest, darkest, nastiest side to it all.

*shudders*

poor michael. as if he hasn't had the most bizarre life experience already, with the fame, abuse, illness, the skin disease, the body dysmorphic disorder. now in death he's still under a microscope...and more ruthlessly exploited than before.

i truly hope that he has found peace, and that he has already escaped far far away from this place and all our disgustingly shallow human obsessions.

insomniac photo shoot

2009-07-08T16:27:00.000-07:00

whipped out the SLR that i don't know how to use properly last night. this is what i got:

and my personal favorite:

passion hobbies

2009-07-08T16:24:00.000-07:00

this video really got me thinking.

what would you ass rape yourself with a remote control over?

mushrooms are overrated

2009-07-01T20:13:00.000-07:00

totally accidental-tripped on this weird video with a japanese ronald mcdonald.

rad.

Lily's Hope

2009-06-28T23:49:00.000-07:00

Hey ya'll,

the short film i shot a few months back that was made to raise awareness about human trafficking is finished and here it is. i play wei, the one who escapes. if you'd like more information, please visit www.lilyshope.com

Lily's Hope from Ben Wong on Vimeo.

summer of bun update

2009-06-24T16:01:00.000-07:00

you might be asking, when the hell is patty going to finish her goddamn video?????

time

2009-06-14T22:50:00.000-07:00

as we all get older, time just seems to move faster.

the years are starting to fly, and i can't even imagine how fast it will feel when i'm 80. every year an even smaller fraction of my life.

but life feels really good right now...
i can't explain it.
it just feels good.

and here....

2009-06-03T17:05:00.000-07:00

is Meiko's finished video!!

She looks HOT on that damn bed, yo!

Harajukyuuuu

2009-06-02T03:24:00.000-07:00

WHATTUPPPP...

my friend Meiko's music video was finally posted on http://www.perezhilton.com! which means, i can finally put up MY video blaaahg about the video! so...here it is...hope you enjoy the shit out of it.

magic

2009-05-26T00:44:00.000-07:00

the last few weeks have been intense. they were some of the most gratifying days of my life, and some of the most stressful.

but i did it!

in a few short weeks i somehow managed to take an idea and turn it into a real production. and not only that, but i found the most amazing team of people i could ask for to do this on a shoestring budget. i mean, it wasn't cheap...and i'm no moneybags right now, but i believed in the project, so i was willing to go for it.

all in all, i have learned soooo much about producing. one thing i realized is that there is always potential for something to get fucked up. for example, i lost location after location after location until finally finding a PERFECT spot downtown, literally 2 days before the shoot. S-T-R-E-S-S-F-U-L.

but i pulled it off. i wanted to jump right into editing, but i had to go up to my cousins wedding in San Fran, which turned out to be the perfect mini-vacation before jumping headfirst into this whole post production process. whew!

so...it will be put up as soon as it's done, my pretties...as soon as it's done...muah hahaha...

i will also be editing a few other vlaaaahgs to put up between now and then...wohoo!

p

SUP

2009-05-22T10:35:00.001-07:00

hey, relax

2009-05-19T00:40:00.000-07:00

just the other day, my girlfriend told me that they say it's healthier when people are total sluts in their sex dreams. and i realized that i am a total fucking PRUDE in my dreams. beyond prude. i'm like permanently programmed in PG-13. i mean, i don't even feel comfortable calling them sex dreams; they are THAT far from being anything that's even remotely exciting. they're totally prepubescent dreams. it's like i'm still an 11 year old dreaming about Uncle Jesse in Full House. heh...that was such a good dream.

plus, this makes me realize there must be something deeper holding me back. some constructs created from my childhood or something. and maybe it's holding me back in life too...in my enjoyment of life and in achieving my goals. and THAT, people, is no good. no good at all.

me having dreams tamer than what they can show on network television is pathetic and i'm going to do something about it! so i'm going to try lucid dreaming again. i had this book in high school that taught me about it, and after some practice, had really focused my mind to recognize when i was dreaming. a few times i was able to stay asleep (i would often wake up) after the realization.

i am putting my intention out there to relax and have more fun in my dreams. why deny? no. i'm TAKING what i want...i mean, it's a freaking dream!!! nothing can go wrong -- it's all in your head! everyone should try this!!

I think this will be a good exercise in life too. you know...the going after what you want part. not...being a slut. necessarily.

thoughts for her

2009-05-08T01:40:00.000-07:00

it almost seems inappropriate to talk about now that she's gone. but since i wrote previous entries about her, i feel like i kind of need to let the people who read about her know that she's finally left us.

tonight when i got home from work, i saw the message from my mom that my grandma had passed away. as much as i knew in my heart that she is in a much better place, i still cried...and felt...selfish...for feeling sad. if i was to only feel for her, i should be happy...because she can finally be at peace. the sadness is for my own feelings of loss. a loss of history. of culture.

i wish i had known her better. i wish i had seen her when she was young. i wish i had known her then. i wish i could have talked with her more. i wish i had spoken her language. especially now that she's gone, it is even more apparent that i hardly knew her at all.

i want to tell her that she's amazing for raising six children on her own, running a farm after my grandfather passed away so young. i want her to know that she is a part of me. i want to thank her for giving me my mother.

the important thing is that my mom is ok. and probably...relieved. it was incredibly difficult for her to see my grandma suffering.

if any of you are reading, please just send a good thought out to my grandma and my mom too. thanks everybody...

patty

preview

2009-04-29T21:08:00.000-07:00

i just finished shooting Meiko's music video for her song Under My Bed. it was a really fun shoot! i am definitely going to video blog about it, but i need to edit and all that, so in the meantime, here are a few photos of from the shoot...

amayleeca is so multee culturlal

2009-04-28T19:49:00.000-07:00

this is the kia spot i did for korea run only. it's.....cute! if you're REALLY into it, there's another one titled Kia Soul CM-2. oh those koreans!

updates

2009-04-27T17:12:00.000-07:00

OK. i haven't posted anything about career in a while, so here's an update. the commercial world has been slow as hell, but i finally had an audition the other day for hyundai and i have the callback tomorrow. yay!

next on this list...you will hear more about this when i'm getting closer to actually shooting, but i am developing a secret project that should be very fun. it's a spoof video and i am really really excited about it. heeeee...

let's see, what else....i recently worked background on a film called greenberg starring ben stiller and jennifer jason leigh. i hate background work, but my friend anna is assistant to the director, noah baumbach. she asked if i would do it because noah doesn't like hiring career background actors (i don't blame him). since i like to have any reason to not work my bar job, i said yes and it turned out to be super fun. it was this party scene with a bunch of young people, so after four nights on the shoot, it was like summer camp ending and maybe even a little sentimental. i was also spoiled and got to have a room to hang out in during all the downtime. oh man, i would have pulled my hair out if not for that room. it must be noted that the crew on this film was AMAZING. it was definitely a learning experience to watch them work. it was also nice to see a director allow actors to do 15 takes on an important scene...emotionally draining i'm sure, but how great to have that opportunity to really sink it. i'm eager to see the film once it's finished.

lastly, i'll be making a cameo in my friend Meiko's music video. we shoot on wednesday and i'll be playing a harajuku girl. ha! should be really fun. i'm totally gonna vlog about it.

that's it for now!

spoiled rotten

2009-04-17T16:38:00.000-07:00

i am so spoiled. i am so grateful for everything i have -- all the amazing people in my life, the opportunities that come my way, and the colorful days. there is no where else i want to be, and nothing else i want to do. if i could, i would kiss the hell out of life. fuck yeah.

this kid is da BOMB!!!!

2009-04-07T18:01:00.000-07:00

I LOVE HIM!!! hahaha

yep, shot another one

2009-04-01T18:50:00.000-07:00

this is my latest installment of the good ol' video blog. rather than post the taco bell job up, which i was worried i'd get in trouble for, i'm gonna put this one up. yep, that's right. i just shot another one. i think it's better anyway. so...enjoy!

not gonna be scared

2009-03-27T22:30:00.000-07:00

i cannot claim to be very good at making videos yet. so much to learn. and so much apprehension to get over. so i'm forcing myself to just DO it. put it out there. i know there will be haters. but some people will get it too. just like sometimes i hate shit that i see out there, but sometimes i LOVE LOVE LOVE stuff out there for whatever the reason. with that out of the way, here is another little thing i made. i see it as a video poem of sorts. at first i thought it was really cheesy...but there are enough people in the world who might judge me that i shouldn't be one of them.

Sunday Venice

2009-03-23T23:28:00.001-07:00

my really really good friend matt has a sweet pad in venice and he has a little army of bikes. biking around venice and santa monica to go eat lunch or catch the sunset on the pier is an amazing way to spend a day in LA. i had an audition in venice that morning, so we rode to eat lunch, and since it was so windy, we decided to battle the weather and make it to the end of the pier. it might not look so severe in the video, but it was damn intense fighting the wind and sand.

great way to lose a few hours of your life

2009-03-16T16:18:00.001-07:00

www.FMyLife.com

glitching and moaning

2009-03-16T12:30:00.001-07:00

i was sitting around yesterday with my isight on record, having a little heart to heart with MYSELF like an idiot. damn computer glitches. so instead, you get THIS:

Booked It!

2009-03-10T15:29:00.001-07:00

Quick update: I booked the taco bell spot! wohoo! So, stay tuned for the next video blog installment about the gig! It shoots a week from today, so hopefully I'll have the video up by the end of next week!

urban camouflage

2009-03-08T21:36:00.000-07:00

an artist in germany did a series called "urban camouflage" and created disguises made out of items that sell in ikea. he then video taped himself wearing these disguises in the store. pretty hilarious. this one especially made me giggle.

you can see a few more videos HERE.

yo quiero taco bell

2009-03-07T21:14:00.000-08:00

hey everybody! here is my second installment of the video blog. yesterday i had a callback for a taco bell commercial. i can't say who, but there's a pretty big athlete in the spot, which is neat. to shoot this video, i just used my point and shoot canon, and the sound quality is terrible, i apologize. but, i just bought this little digital video recorder and maybe that will be better for future installments. this was really fun to make...i dicked around with imovie for the first time....hehe...dork. i love this shit. so...watch it! i hope you like it!

workin for free

2009-03-02T12:18:00.000-08:00

even though i don't have a theatrical agent right now, i've been submitting myself for things that sound interesting on Actor's Access. anyone new to LA or NY and just starting out building a career should register onto AA because there are TONS of projects that post breakdowns on this site. Actor's Access is directly related to Showfax (where you find sides and scripts), and Breakdown Express, which is where all the big casting offices also post breakdowns for agents and managers to access. However, BE is not available to the people registered on Actor's Access. You must be an agent or manager to see those breakdowns. TV shows will occasionally make their breakdowns visible to AA users, but mostly you'll find lower budget independent films, short films, student films, and various other smaller projects on Actor's Access. Through AA I've booked regional commercials, a music video for a Taiwanese pop singer, and other jobs here and there.

so like i said, now that i don't have an agent, i'm trying to stay productive. this saturday i had a casting for a short film being made and distributed through Amazon.com, and proceeds will go to an organization fighting against human trafficking. the film subject is of course about girls who are tricked and smuggled into the sex trade. i've been offered a role in the film, but since the short is yet to be filmed, let alone released, i won't go into details yet about the storyline. don't wanna get in trouble!

but, this is great! it's unpaid (and for a good cause too), but it's a gig! and i'll get to shoot this coming weekend. OH, and not only that, but this film is being shot in MANDARIN, so that means some footage on my reel in chinese, which is GREAT. once i am able to give you more info about the project, i'll give you an update!

the short that was removed

2009-03-01T11:48:00.000-08:00

OK! If you read my post HERE, then you may have attempted to watch this short with little success. Well, I figured out how to transfer the file from dvd, and now here it is in all it's glory!

OH MY GOD, I'M A DORK

2009-02-28T21:57:00.001-08:00

i blubbered like a baby

2009-02-28T16:20:00.000-08:00

i dare you to watch this and not be moved just a little.

walked through chinatown today

2009-02-27T18:23:00.000-08:00

i'm taking some photography classes at the LACC right now. it's great because otherwise i have way too much time on my hands. snapped a few photos in chinatown today. here's just one. maybe i'll post more later!

Apple gave me positive rep

2009-02-26T15:58:00.000-08:00

So, last week I had a casting for a print ad for Apple computers. The role was for a "creative business professional." I put on an outfit, took some snapshots for Superfuture and Lookbook, and headed to the casting. When i got back, my post in Superfuture had gotten a lot of criticism. I paired this beautiful Diane Von Furstenburg blouse with some high waisted shorts, as pictured below.

A bunch of the dudes on Sufu were somehow offended by the shorts. Granted, lots of people liked it as well, but many people had something to say. The couple guys who didn't like it thought the proportions were off, and that i should have worn a pencil skirt instead. Blah blah blah. I would totally do that too, but I would wear it with the shorts too. As they say, women dress for other women, not for men.

Anyhow, I'm on hold for the Apple job! Can't get too excited yet, because as luck would have it, the last print job and commercial i got put on hold for released me last minute, but hell, Apple gave me pos rep. Shorts validated.

Oh Fuck!

2009-02-23T01:14:00.000-08:00

My DAD joined facebook! wtf??? what once was a safe haven amongst friends to post whatever shenanigans and perhaps the occasional inappropriate photo is now in full view of my DAD. are you even that cool, dad? when did that happen?? and why weren't you cool when i was in high school and living in a virtual lockdown asian family style? coulda used your hidden coolness then when i would beg and plead to just go to the MALL on the freaking weekends, let alone a party once in a....NEVER!!!??

i mean, i can't feasibly reject his friend request, can i?

but of course i added him. oy.

this just makes me so happy

2009-02-21T14:01:00.001-08:00

i don't know who this kid is, or why he made this video, but watching him dance makes me so damn happy. good music too, even though the clips are super short!

BOOMBOX from Ely Kim on Vimeo.

my first role on a show!

2009-02-16T23:07:00.000-08:00

wohoo! it aired this weekend, and here is a little screen shot of me and Sally Field!

my scene is tiny...literally just two lines, but still...i'm happy about it. and you know what, they all say that sometimes it's these little one or two line roles that are even harder for actors to get right because they try to do too much (they being casting directors and agents and managers i've spoken with).

if you wanna catch the episode for yourself, you can see it on ABC's website!

Grandma Update

2009-02-13T14:00:00.000-08:00

MY GRANDMA WOKE UP!!!!! i wish it had been while i was in taiwan, but the good news is that she's conscious, she can speak and move her arms, but she's pretty out of it. she needs dialysis every couple days, but she's breathing on her own. talk about a tough cookie at age 93. maybe we can squeeze a few more good years out of her. it's hard to say. but at least my family gets to hang with her some more.

THIS SUNDAY!

2009-02-10T23:05:00.000-08:00

OK folks, if any of you care to watch it, the episode of Brothers and Sisters that I worked on airs THIS COMING SUNDAY at 10pm on ABC! Apparently they used a clip of my scene in last week's "Next week on Brothers & Sisters...." commercial they always play at the end of an episode. Sweet! I'm excited, because once it airs, my IMDb credit will appear. Yay! So....if you see it, let me know what you think? I dunno if i'll catch it sunday...i don't get cable...haha. But i'm getting the episode taped by a video editing company so that I can use the footage for my reel. Neato.

sleepless

2009-02-07T02:34:00.001-08:00

it has been seven days since i returned from taiwan and i'm still feeling a little outta wack. working late nights doesn't help the cause, since i get home after 2am and i'm still amped. so i guess i'll share these sleepless nights with you muthers. so, since i'm on a video posting trend, i want to share the short film that i shot with some classmates from Lesly Kahn & Co, this acting studio i studied at last year. The lady who started the school, none other than Lesly Kahn, decided to hold a film festival competition of sorts for her birthday. We had about three weeks to come up with an idea and shoot it, but there were rules.

1. Film should be no longer than 3 min.
2. Everyone in the class must have a speaking role.
3. No person with professional experience editing, directing, writing, or producing may do those jobs.
4. The story must have a beginning, middle, and end.
5. There should be a twist at the end.

There were a few more, but these are the big ones. Anyway, it took us a week to decide what my class was going to do. I pitched an idea, and another dude pitched an idea. The class chose mine! Wohoo! So, I had a story framed out, but we needed to write a script. There were two guys in my class who were really excited to participate in shit. Nick Lusk, and Jason Williams. The three of us wrote the script together off of my outline. While shooting, Nick and I set up pretty much all the shots and lighting, although we did sometimes have help from our classmates. We also directed a majority of it, and did all the editing. Jason also helped quite a bit.

All in all, I proudly had a big hand in making this little short happen in about two weeks time and I am very happy with the end result. So.....here it is! Oh, and in case you were wondering--yes, the photo that i use as a header for my blog is from the shoot.

if you want to compare it to any of the other films made by other classes, HERE is a link to those. We lost to one of LESLY's OWN CLASSES. the one called "monday night class" when you go to the link. Favoritism anyone?

TOKYO!

2009-02-05T16:00:00.000-08:00

This looks fucking rad and I can't wait until it comes out. March 6th I believe.

Give Me Mah Money!!!

2009-02-04T01:08:00.000-08:00

Oh yeah, i found this on YOUTUBE today. it's my pizza hut commercial that I shot before the holidays. I think it's airing in parts of the country. Let me know if you see it on TV! You can't even really tell which one is me, but i'm one of the pizza hut kids...haha. reeeaal classy.

guilty pleasure

2009-02-04T00:19:00.000-08:00

posting photos in LOOKBOOK!!!

ahhhh.....stateside again

2009-02-02T17:28:00.000-08:00

i'm back! got home on friday and proceeded to go to my day er, night job bartending at the hotel cafe. what was i thinking??? exhaustion aside, i made some much needed cash.

before i go about my usual routine, i want to post a few pictures from my trip. this little one on the left here was me dicking around outside my grandma's house. during our last trip into the country, we visited my mom's cousin's house. he has 6 daughters and one son, several of whom are married with children. all of these adults were milling about, but they mostly speak taiwanese so i have a hard time communicating with them, plus the big culture clash. i'm the "american cousin" and noone really knows how to interact with me very well.

at one point one of the little kids comes and asks me to go outside to play with the dog. i go out there and these five kids ranging from the ages of 5-9 start playing with me and we run to the elementary school close by. it was by far the most fun part of the trip. i didn't worry about not being able to answer any questions or if my chinese was ok. we just played...like kids! once again--like i was a child again! they loved when i took their pictures, so i took a bunch. i just want to share a few. the last one is my favorite--you can already see their individual personalities...so cool!

Flashback

2009-01-26T04:19:00.000-08:00

i'm still in taiwan, spending some family time with my bro and the 'rents. in many ways, it's like i'm home in north carolina or something. rather than trying to go into taipei every opportunity like i did the last two years i visited taiwan, we've just been hanging a lot at home watching movies on the english channels. it's a sign of the times when 3/4 of us are glued to our laptops. but even my mom gets skype calls from her friends in NC. pretty funny if you think about it.

something struck me today, while i rode in the backseat to freaking costco of all places...haha. mom was driving, dad was in the passenger seat, and as i took in the scenery it dawned on me how i felt just like a kid again. i was riding with mom and dad while they talked about stuff in chinese. being here, i can't really do anything on my own. i mean, i can speak mandarin conversationally, but i can't read or write it. it would be really hard to navigate anywhere beyond taipei city. so it occurred to me how much i felt like a child. so dependent on my parents for EVERYTHING.

in a way, i'm totally realizing a fantasy that i conjured around christmastime--partly why i decided to stop drinking and smoking--of reverting to a youthful sobriety, where life experiences were all i got drunk on. i wanted this because i can remember an intensity of passion and belief i had in myself and all my dreams when i was a kid. i'm not saying i was free of insecurities and self-consciousness when i was young--far from it. but along with those things, i also had this unwavering belief in myself and my dreams. and i dreamt BIG. HUGE.

somewhere in between then and now, i sold myself short a little bit. i had to convince myself of what i could accomplish instead of just KNOWING it. i know now that it's partly because i found out how much i DIDN'T know about the business, and didn't know HOW to go after what i believed in. it's also partly because i just got rusty and out of practice. the good thing is that it's shifted again. i know what i want, i know what i can do, and i know that i will do it.

even though i have to find new representation now, during a very challenging time for actors, i am more excited than i have ever been about my career. i am so excited to find an agency on my own--to meet with agents and to pitch myself and my ideas. aack!! i can't wait to get back to LA!!!

Journey to the East

2009-01-23T20:52:00.000-08:00

i left for taiwan at 12:10am on wednesday with a 2+ hour layover in seoul, korea. it's been nice to be with my family, but challenging in other, more emotional ways.

we went to the country and saw grandma yesterday. it was kind of intense. the intensive care unit only opens up visiting for 20 minutes three times a day. we weren't sure if we'd get there in time for the morning visit, but managed to make it a few minutes late. we walked into these automatic sliding doors and a nurse pointed a little scanner gun to our heads to make sure we had normal body temps. then we had to put on these hospital gown-like shirts. my mom whisked me into my grandma's room, where she was hooked up to a dialysis. she had tubes sticking all over the place and a breathing mask. the whole experience was kind of frantic. my mom called out to my grandma several times, and her breathing got really labored, but she never woke up. i think the roughest part was that my mom got really emotional...she started to cry, which made me well up too.

then as quickly as we went in, we rushed out so that my brother and my dad could go in, since they only allow 2 people in at a time. it was nuts. i wasn't even sure what had happened. 20 minutes isn't enough time, but that's all intensive care allows.

afterwards, on our way out of the hospital, my mom coerced me into getting some soft serve ice cream with her at the little shop in the hospital. she wanted it because she was really hot...from that frantic visit no doubt. it was kind of cute i guess...a little comfort food to ease some of the stress. my mom was eating hers from the top and the ice cream was dripping on her hands...she was like a little kid and my dad was trying to clean her up and they were bickering back and forth, but laughing at the same time.

i went back with my uncle during the afternoon visiting window, and saw grandma again. she was still unresponsive, but every few minutes her body convulsed in a coughing fit. each time this happened, it seemed like she would just wake up right then, but she didn't. her body was just reacting on it's own. the nurses had put her on her side because she was getting bed rashes on her tailbone, and her legs were exposed. her calf muscles were so tiny from atrophy. it was so sad to see her like this. it's hard to imagine that she'll recover from this...being 93. the last time she regained consciousness was a week ago, but she was only awake for a few hours.

maybe it was psychosomatic, but the rest of the day i felt sick to my stomach. i also felt short of breath during our three hour drive back to Linko. i couldn't stop thinking about my grandma coughing, and how it all started with this infection in her lung that was resistent to antibiotics. i got paranoid that i maybe caught something in the hospital, but didn't say anything. i woke up today though, and felt fine.

my apologies for such a heavy post...but this is what's going on. i've been taking a lot of photos, so i'll try to post some more later. what i'm grateful for, however, is that i got to see my grandmother at all. and i'm grateful that my family can be here together for chinese new year. this is the first time i've spent chinese new year in taiwan with my parents and brother, so this is a special trip.

more to come....

Fits and Starts

2009-01-16T03:03:00.000-08:00

So, yesterday was kind of a rough day in the life of Patty. I mean...not reeeeaaaallly. I have a roof over my head. I have food to eat. I have the clothes on my back (and the stupid amount of clothes in my closet). But as much as I was trying to see all the positives about my "A" agency dropping me, I couldn't help but get bummed. Fuck, I got BUMMED.

By the way, did I tell you I'm taking a break from the booze and ganja as a new years resolution? Uh...ok, I know I didn't, it's my own damn blog. So yeah...I am not shy to say I'm a social drinker and a smoker of green. But it was getting excessive because of my very "relaxed" lifestyle. I mean, I bartend two nights a week, but the rest of my week is open. The great thing is, I pretty much NEVER miss an audition. The bad thing is, I have too much free time sometimes. I have too much free time a LOT of the time. So, my occasional puff puff turned into a much more regular habit. Not only that, but I feel like everyone in LA smokes. So anyway, I decided that I was going to stop for two whole months. I know what you're thinking. Two months? That's it? Hunny, two months solid of not smoking is pretty damn good in my book. And plus, the point is to change the habit. After the two months is over, it will feel normal to be not smoking. While I was at it, I decided to just not drink too. And actually, it is WAY harder not to drink! Dinner parties with wine and meeting up with people over a drink are choice socialization options in this town. But it feels really good to be clean and I might just stay sober for longer.

ANYWAY, the reason I even went into that is because yesterday after I pounded out my submissions to those agencies (I sent them my photos, resume, and a brief intro message), the sun went down, and it really sank in that I lost my theatrical rep at one of the best agencies in town. FUCK. I was sitting at my desk, starting to feel tired, and MAN, all I wanted to do was smoke a fatty. But I didn't. It's just funny...i wanted to escape and not feel shitty. But it would have actually just made me feel shittier in the long run.

Of COURSE I have to end this entry with some decent news. One of the agencies that I wrote, AKA , called me to set up a meeting for next week. They commercially represent Daniel Dae Kim, and Lauren Holly for voice over, plus some young folks that are entering the scene through teeny bopper gigs like Twilight (Rachelle Lefevre) and 90210 (Adam Gregory) commercially as well. I still need to gauge how they are theatrically, but i'm thinking maybe i'll start looking at my options commercially as well. Who knows! Change is great!!!

Now that I have the meeting, I'm excited again. I'm hoping to get more meetings with other agencies as well. Please keep your fingers crossed for me!

Peaks and Valleys

2009-01-14T16:58:00.000-08:00

So, i hit a major speed bump in my career today. My agent Melissa calls me from her cell and says she has bad news. Uh oh...i knew what was coming. Innovative cut the breakout division. Completely axed it. They made major cuts in their client roster, and unfortunately I have the misfortune of getting cut. The only clients they kept from that division were those who were currently on a show or film, or recently booked a substantial gig. For example, one of Melissa's clients is AnnaLynne McCord from the new 90210. My recent co-star on Brothers & Sisters didn't quite cut it. I am, however, still with Innovative commercially.

I immediately emailed a manager that I met a few months ago. Her name is Stephanie Nese. She represents Melonie Diaz, Rick Gonzalez, and some other young development clients. We had a great meeting and she told me she was interested in me, but that she couldn't take on a new development client right now, with the pending strike, etc. It wouldn't have served me or her other clients for her to take someone new on, with fewer jobs than usual out there for all of us. However, she said that I should keep in touch with her, and that I should call her or email her if I ever had questions.

SO, I emailed her today and told her what happened. I asked her if she had any agents that she recommended I contact. Almost immediately she emailed me back and listed a few companies. KSA, Gage Group, Corsa Agency, and Glick Agency. She told me to let them know she referred me to them, and that she was interested, but couldn't take me on right now. How seriously cool of her. Her company, Framework Entertainment, represents some huge names like John C. Reilly, and Lucy Liu, so it should help me get meetings with these agencies.

On a positive note, i got a callback today for the other audition I had last week--this one is for Audi. I feel really great about it, but the problem is that it shoots on the dates I'm supposed to go to Taiwan to see my Grandmother. I'll have a tough decision to make if I book the job, but also, it's a terrible time to lose representation because pilot season is about to start. So I am feeling very anxious about leaving town in this position where I need to really HUSTLE and get new rep.

s t r e s s f u l .

I'm looking at this positively though. In all honesty, I've felt disconnected from my representation. I never felt like they knew what I was all about and what I had to offer. And even though I wanted more, it was so comfy and safe in a great name like Innovative. So I think this is for the best in the long run. Melissa in part took me on as a favor to her good friend. I want an agent to take me on because he or she really believes in me and GETS me. Wish me luck finding the one!

Maybe I Jinxed Myself

2009-01-13T15:29:00.000-08:00

Gah, I got released from the Verizon spot damnit!! haha! But you see, people, this is what actors go through. You almost get the job, you don't the job. Sometimes you get the job, but the spot doesn't ever make it on the air. And then sometimes you REALLY get the job, and the spot airs a ton and you make lots of $$$$$.

THANKFULLY, my Pizza Hut spot is AIRING! Fuck yeah! This means residual earnings for yours truly. Excellent. If you watch sports much, I think it will mostly be airing during the games. So, you win some, you lose some. Onto the the next!!

TONIGHT: Workshop with a casting director named Kari Kurto who used to work on the shows Weeds and My Name is Earl. She was an associate on those shows, but left to start her own office, which tells me this is a great time to meet her. Should be fun!

On Avail

2009-01-10T10:51:00.001-08:00

This year feels like it will be really great for whatever reason. Perhaps it is stemming from within myself, but I know it will be a very prosperous year. Pilot season is about to start up, barring the SAG strike, which could still very well happen even though it is a terrible time to strike. Hearing actors whine about not making enough money is met with extreme dismay with the economy the way it is, but at the same time, many of the issues on the table are legitimate and the actors who really suffer are the ones like me, who are not making millions per picture (yet).

While I am VERY excited for this year to get rolling, I am postponing my real jump back in to go back to Taiwan for Chinese New Year. My dad, who works in Shanghai, will finally get a break and my whole family will see each other in Lin Ko, a city outside of Taipei. However, this trip isn't going to be all roses, because the real reason my brother and I are making this journey east is because my grandmother on my mom's side is 93 and sick. So, we really want to see her one more time, since going back to Taiwan is only a once a year luxury. These photos were taken December 2007 of my grandma, my mom, me, and one of my cousin's daughters. Four generations of women from my mom's side.

My grandmother doesn't speak Mandarin, and I don't speak Taiwanese, so I've never been able to really have a conversation with her. It makes me feel so disconnected from my lineage and culture sometimes. I have no idea what I will feel when she passes away. I can't even wrap my head around it right now. Sigh...

Since I'll be leaving on Jan 21st, and not returning until the 30th, I'll be missing a lot of auditions. So this past week, when two rolled down the pipeline, I decided it would be necessary to book at least one of them! Of course I try to book everything I go on, but it's not always realistic or possible. BUT, I'm on avail for one of them! Verizon.

If you're wondering what being "on avail" means, it is essentially being put on hold for a job. The production company may put a few extra people on "avail" in case someone passes on the job, perhaps for another job or due to illness, etc. Sometimes the spot just doesn't get shot, and that might be another reason you're released from your avail. But, what it does mean is that you made it through all the rounds and that you just about have the job. So as an actor, you have to be happy that you essentially booked it, even if you're released for whatever reason. Just before the break, I shot Pizza Hut, but I was also on avail for a Time Warner Cable spot at the same time and got released. I think because I was their second choice for the asian girl role. Still, it means I beat out lots of people to get that avail, and my agents know that I am likely to book jobs. Many agencies keep track of how often their clients get callbacks, etc to track their likelihood of booking, so any callback or avails are all GREAT for your relationship with your agents.

I'll let you know if I am booked for certain! Will know on Monday. Until then, have a great weekend!

Holiday Reflection

2008-12-26T18:26:00.000-08:00

This holiday season has been a strange one for me. For one, I'm not spending it with my whole family, although I am fortunate to spend it with my big brother at the very least. My mom is in Taiwan, and my dad is working in Shanghai. This fall, my mom came to visit the states for several weeks, so she didn't feel like going through the rigmorale of traveling stateside again, and also she stayed behind because my grandmother isn't doing so great. My dad feels it necessary to stay in shanghai for work. the ailing economy has put the pressure on, not to mention christmas isn't exactly huge in asia.

I should also mention that the last three holiday seasons I was in a relationship that broke up this summer. So it's also strange not to have that anchoring the Christmas season, especially because the last two years we went to asia together over the holidays. But this is all just sentimental bullshit anyway, because i wouldn't want it any other way right now. The relationship ended for a reason, and we're both better people for it.

All in all, this holiday has been a period of reflection. I learned so much about myself this last year. I gained invaluable experience and confidence in myself and I feel really good about going into this next year. I have no doubts that my career is gaining momentum. I am so grateful for the work I've gotten in what has been an incredibly challenging year for actors. I shot two commercials, a promo for CBS, and a co-star on a successful show on ABC! Thank you thank you thank you thank you to everything and everyone who was responsible for making these things happen.

In 2009 i intend to do many workshops and get as many casting directors familiar with me and my work as possible. I am a working actress in Los Angeles. My dream is a reality, and I am so grateful for all the joy this brings into my life. I look forward to doing more, telling great stories, and meeting interesting, passionate people who are also living their dreams.

better late than never

2008-12-15T12:04:00.000-08:00

the first thing i have to mention is how lame i feel to title a post "better late than never." haha. but it popped in my head, and then i thought of Alvin Othto Stewart, a 73 year old man i befriended by bartending in hollywood at the hotel cafe.

alvin titled his self-made album Better Late Than Never. being 73, "late" is sort of an understatement. thing is, this man should be an inspiration to us all, being his age and still creating music, poetry, getting out and socializing with people of all ages. when the piano in the back room is unlocked, alvin will entertain people and sell his cd's and poetry books. you all should visit his myspace page, play his music and leave comments. the sound quality on his album isn't the best, but the music is actually pretty good! but mainly, i gotta give him so much credit--he comes in and helps me clear glasses EVERY SHIFT that i work unless he's sick. this has been going on for over a year. what can i say, the man's got my back. somehow he and i became linked in this universe and i will do all i can to help him share what he's doing with the world, if for no other reason than the joy i see in him when he talks about his myspace hits and even better, his cdbaby reviews that friends leave. if you're feeling especially warm and generous, buy his album on myspace or cdbaby.

Superfuture superfun

2008-12-13T17:15:00.000-08:00

once upon a time i was going to visit TOKYO and a friend shows me a site called Superfuture. anyone looking to consume fashion of all kinds will essentially find locations of all peddlers of COOL mapped out on this site with descriptions and sometimes store or brand websites. pretty rad.

so, fast forward to this summer, after i had forgotten all about this site, and i was instant messaging with a friend of mine. he sends me these photos of some chick, and says, "what's up with gladiator sandals?" well, the answer was, "they're ugly as shit," but man, was i intriqued! what was this??? some girl putting pictures of herself on a website to be scrutinized by a million internet lurkers??? how do i get on this train??

what my friend showed me was a thread in a part of Superfuture called Supertalk--a bunch of threads started by Superfuture readers to talk about fashion, design, shopping, but then a bunch of trash too, like who's hot, who sucks, and look how cool i am. this particular thread my friend showed me is called WAYWT (what are you wearing today?). people post photos of their outfits and they get internet reputation from other readers. it's like an internet popularity contest based on what you contribute to the threads. on one waywt thread people are only supposed to post photos, but since there are so many opinionated mother fuckers out there, someone started one that's the "chat edition" so that people can talk shit and publicly criticize someone's fit, or publicly praise them as well. OF COURSE i started posting on both threads. i mean, how could i not????? glorious fun!!

i did have to earn the respect of all the veteran sufu folks the hard way. my first fit was some hipster trashy shit that i wear when i bartend sometimes and these people tore my shit apart. i had super negativo feedback and i think some people hated me. haha. they're very serious about this thread, ok??? but i realized that even though the thread is called "what are you wearing TODAY," everyone really only wants to see, "what are you wearing on the days you're wearing your best shit especially if you're a newbie." since the days of my first couple shitty posts, i have now garnered some respect with a string of finer outfits, and as i continue to post, my style continues to get better, though i seriously need to make more money to dress the way i REALLY want to dress. it's actually really nice to have something that inspires me to dress better in my daily life. dressing better makes me feel good and it translates in my auditions too. shout out to all ya'll sufu kids. i loves ya, i really do.

here is an example of a post I made, the other day on my birthday (12/10). maybe this is all just super narcissistic bullshit, but hey...i put my IMDb link on the page and it increases my rank on that shit. win win. i may put some of my fits on this blog from time to time cuz it's fun.

Sister made it on "Brothers.."

2008-12-13T15:37:00.000-08:00

I recently worked on the ABC show Brothers and Sisters. It was a small part, a costar, with a whole whopping TWO lines. WHEW! When I tell people I booked this gig, they're generally really excited for me, but I have this little voice in my head that tells me it ain't shit. Why do I do that? I mean, when it comes down to it, this is my first primetime credit (it will show on IMDb once the episode airs), and that's GREAT. But all I want is MORE. Co star roles don't have an arc. They really just facilitate the scene forward. For example, I play a barista in this episode of Brothers & Sisters. Sally Field comes in looking for someone and asks the barista where some dude is. I tell her where he is. Bam. Over. That's that.

Awesome.

HOWEVER, this is not to say I am not SOOOOOOO damn grateful for this job. I really give credit to the casting associate who works with the casting directors on this show. Arlie Day with O'Neill/Bacharach. I did a workshop with her several months back and made a good impression. Since then, she's called me in for a few webisodes, and though I didn't book them, she gave me great feedback in the room. For this episode of B & S, they didn't even release a breakdown for the barista role. The casting directors just called people in from their files, and thus, I received my first job on a primetime show. Pretty great.

And because this was proof that workshops work, I'm doing more now. The place I do mine at is called Actor's Coop Group. I haven't tried any others, but they generally get the same cd's and associates in as other workshop places. This one is close to where I live though, and you can't beat that in LA. The drawback is that it costs money and I'm damn broke and have the most debt I've probably ever had in my life. Still, I have to look at it as a business investment. The more credits like this I can get, the more auditions my agents will be able to get me into.

My goal: To book a guest star on something rad, like the new show Caprica (prequel to Battlestar Gallactica--yeaaaahhhh bitches!!!!). Ok, I don't know if it will be rad...watching the trailer, it's not what I was expecting at all, but we'll see!

The Slim Reaper

2008-07-03T00:26:00.000-07:00

I had an audition today for the show "Reaper" on the CW network. This year, I've had on average about one audition per month. Ideally, I should be going out once a week, but with the writer's strike earlier this year and the impending SAG strike, most actors have been experiencing "The Great Depression" of acting work this year.

However, this drought has been a prime opportunity for me to work out some of my acting issues. These are all very much internal issues (and probably ego too), that have made my acting laughable in the first few years of my time in Los Angeles. I am not too proud to admit that i was peddling shit to the various casting directors around town my first two years of going on big, intimidating, super-legitimate auditions.

Oh man, if ONLY i could go back and do all those auditions again. I sucked. I mean REALLY REALLY SUCKED.

Part of the problem was that I thought that I could get away with never acting outside of the times I was auditioning. BAD IDEA. Not acting outside of auditioning is probably the worst thing anyone can do for their acting career. Especially once we become "grown-ups," whatever that means, it becomes harder and harder to get out of your goddamn huge-ass head. All those thoughts you're having--did I read that line right, or can the casting director can see my huge zit, or am i bloated from that pizza i ate stoned last night--these are all poison in the audition room.

When you're all drugged out on insecurity, you're gonna blow your audition unless it's for some ridiculously insecure and neurotic character. So yeah, you can either wait for the universe to align in exactly that way and book one gig, or you can work your shit out and start booking lots of gigs.

In my acting class, my teacher would say that your problems in acting are usually your problems in life. This is soooooo true. So...now i just try to make my life better. It's working so far, and my acting is coming back. It's like I came out of a coma. Now if the auditions would just start pouring in...I'm more ready than I've ever been.

the processed actor

2008-04-03T12:00:00.000-07:00

well golly. i've been in LA for over five years and it only occurred to me now that maybe i should blog about my experiences building an acting career in LA. it's definitely not easy, at least not for 99% of all actors trying to make it out here. for some it takes years just to get represented or join the union.

so...in a huge nutshell, here's how my journey went.

i moved to LA in the summer of 02' with my now ex-boyfriend. we were living in good ol' Rockville, MD (it's as exciting as it sounds). this was one year after i graduated from University of Maryland, College Park. you might be wondering if i studied theater in college. the answer is a big fat NO. i did NOT have the slightest interest in studying theater in college. i did theater in high school and that was all fun and games, but i knew that my interest was in film/television, and in my mind a theater degree was NOT going to help me. if anything, it would be a useless degree to me in case i discovered this crapshoot business was too much and i gave up. i knew, however, that i would NEVER give up.

as much as i would have liked to just move to NYC or LA right after high school (still something i wonder about all the time), college was probably the right move. i lived my childhood somewhat incubated in a non-english speaking household. parents were conservative, first generation immigrants from Taiwan. my experiences inside and outside the home were complete dichotomies. i had to learn how to function socially and academically as a "typical american kid" without it already mapped out by the last generation. needless to say, i was not always good at it. i was very opinionated and very blunt, so i would piss people off sometimes. i was super naive, and college was the first time i didn't have my parents constantly holding me back. if that had been NYC or LA right after high school and not college, i'd probably be a jacked up coke-head with herpes or something equally terrible and nasty. no, instead i got to experiment in a somewhat controlled environment with peers that had life goals and shit. whew for that.

SO ANYWAY, the move. driving across country is fun, but expensive. and please be careful using bungee cords or you might find yourself gushing blood out of your forehead somewhere in Arkansas. true story. not fun. bungee cords suck. scar to prove it.

arriving in LA is a surreal experience. when you first get here, everything looks the same. everywhere looks like a beach town. sort of. there's palm trees everywhere and it's sunny and hot and flat. there are cars everywhere. five miles feels like 25 miles. you always turn left on red. awesome. you're in LA.

then you start apartment hunting and you're like, "WTF??? that shithole is $2000/mo?" awesome. you're in LA.

also, when you first arrive in LA, you think that living by the beach is the cat's meow. oh man, did i want to live by the beach. so you get an apartment about 5 miles from the beach and whoops! you realize that even driving five miles to go to the beach is the equivalent to trucking across town in suburban Maryland. so you move closer to the beach, like 6 blocks. it smells kind of like the ocean when you're not smelling the bums. awesome. you're in LA. BUT WAIT!!! NO. you realize that you're not fucking in LA!!! yeah, the beach is awesome in theory, but i spent a year and a half living on the westside and went into the city like three times. EVER! what the fuck is LA??? i had no idea! i wasn't learning jack about what i needed to do to further my career whatsoever.

in the midst of all this discovery, my relationship also fell apart. sorry dude. i loved you, but it was just not working out. don't worry kids, he's ok (still lives on the westside) and we're still friends.

SO i moved east. to Silver Lake, the land of hipsters. moving out on my own was one of the best things i ever did for my career. this period of time was when i started to self submit on Actors Access. i booked some regional commercials through this avenue, as well as a music video for a Taiwanese pop star JJ Lin. for any actor, self-submitting is one of the best things you can do before you become union or find representation. even if it's a crappy student film, you start to understand how shots are set up, and how you look on camera. and if you're lucky and perform well, you get footage for an actor's reel.

over the next few years i end up moving around a few more times, first with a friend, and then eventually moved in with another boyfriend. it's through him that i met my first and current agent, Melissa Hirschenson at Innovative Artists. Melissa used to be his commercial agent years ago, but left LA for a few years to work as a casting director. when she moved back to LA in 05', the agency where she used to work did not have a position for her in the commercial department, but instead gave her a spot in a new department called the Crossover Division, which has now merged with their Youth Division.

i was extremely lucky to meet Melissa at this time because she was just building her list of clients. since she didn't have any girls of the asian persuasion, she called me in. right at this time, i had received an offer for commercial representation at a boutique agency called Howard Talent West, which i brought up to Melissa and she had me meet the commercial department at Innovative. they started to submit me and i quickly started getting callbacks. several months later, the company legitimately signed me on as a client.

i cannot stress how very fortunate i am to have met Melissa at that time. i don't think i'd be with such a good agency now had i not met her. since then i've worked on several commercials, independent film, and gone on many interesting (and educational) auditions. since this first blog is already so long, i'll stop here and go into more detail about some of those projects and current events in separate blogs.

if you made it this far, thanks for reading! i hope i can help some of you who have the same goals!!

p